The true dragon age inquisition experience no matter how many times you’ve played it already

• spending at least half an hour choosing your race/gender/class/speciality
  
• spending an hour actually making your inquisitor
• overexposured Leliana face (how did they get it that white)
• *herald ate a very sour lemon while running towards the bridge and fell*
• unnecessary loud bridge collapse
• “the magic here is unlike any i’ve seen” r u sure about that Solas
  
• i just want to secure some horses to the inquisition and need to kill the wolves i don’t wanna deal with that level million rift
• find a passage to the wolf cave from the witchwood and realize your life is lie
• I JUST WANT TO GET THE FINAL CAMP ON THE HILL AND THERE’S THREE BEARS
• “we just opened them up, with äxes”
• why are you greatly disapproving me i’m right mages should be free
• “i can’t come in unless you open” aw cole
  
• *montage to killing templars and failing to save anyone in haven because you have a bad eyesight and didn’t notice the woman under all the planks*
• “wow i didn’t remember corypheus was that tall”
  
• *causes and avalanche that busies all of Haven* they did that
• unnecassarily long slow walk through the snow
• the legend says once you gain the quest “to lure a dragon” all quillbacks and phoenixes disappear from the world in matter of milliseconds
• where ht e  F u CK IS THE LAST TRAP
• HOW THE FUCK IS CLAREL STILL ALIVE W HT A THE FCKU
• the fact that you can’t accidentally walk in a dragon fight
• except the one in crestwood please i just want to seal the rift

• Continuously pressing the skip button through the unskipable 20 minute long segment of singing, finding skyhold, then becoming Inquisitor
  
• Wasting money on a ton of schematics you will never use
• Ditto for mounts
• Collecting all the elfroot (and iron) every time you visit Haven so you don’t have to worry about it for the rest of the game
  
• Playing The Floor is Lava in The Fallow Mire except the floor is water and the lava is unlimited zombies
• Except your companions don’t know the rules
• Spamming these bad boys when hiking cross country
• And using them to launch yourself off ledges to see how far you can fly
• Saving your super abilities for when you really need them and then end up never using them
• Bull is out again
• Cole is out again
  
• Parkouring your way up to horribly placed shards
  
• “Fuck that shard”
  
• Forgetting this isn’t Skyrim and insisting your mount can climb a mountain
• “This should hold back the darkspawn” …You sure about that
  
• Wondering if you’ve got the banter bug and just when you’re getting on a mount your companions start talking before cutting off
• Sighing deeply as you run forever and ever through the whole lot of nothing in the Hissing Wastes
• Playing Hide and Seek with giants in the Emerald Graves
• Accidentally hitting brontos when fighting said giants and now you’ve got two giants and seven brontos and all you wanted to do was to grab some landmarks damnit
• Taking advantage of the no fall damage at Skyhold
• Ignoring fall damage everywhere else
• Travelling across the Waking Sea all the way to Kirkwall to adjust the opacity of your eyeshadow because holy shit it was definitely not that strong in the CC

An open letter to Solas,

First of all,

Bitch,

ok but tents

in da2 and inquisition everyone had a home to go back to, but in origins they literally only had their camp for like a year

thing is, everyone was joining one after another, weeks and sometimes months apart (im looking at u oghren)

how come all the tents look the same? they should be all mismatched

and sometimes it could take a while to actually find a tent for new party members

just imagine, wynne joins the party and shares a tent with leliana for a while and everything is lovely, they both are clean and sweet and just the loveliest tent mates

in contrast, imagine the first night after zevran joined in and neither alistair nor zevran in their shared tent even shutting their eyes in fear that the other will stab them

or oghren joining and the party actually has a fight over who’s going to share their tent with him bc holy shit that guy’s smell is powerful (actual canon, sorry oghren)

and also imagine the possibilities of what each tent would look like

zevran and leliana and morrigan choosing tents that actually look good bc not a chance they will sleep in something that looks like rags hanging on sticks

loghain choosing the most patriotic thing as possible and just glaring at lelianas tent

sten going with practicality but also having some tiny detail, maybe a pattern or an embroidery of some flower that reminds him of par vollen

alistair sometimes looking up at the roof of his tent and feeling sad bc he sees the grey warden griffon embroidered and he remembers when duncan handed him the tent

anyway, tents